Exhausted Today

15 Mar

Today has been a slightly busy day! It was productive anyways! I met with my counselors at school and found out that I’ll be in school for longer than I thought.  Part of me is extremely down because of it but I am trying not to let it defeat me.  I know I’ll be done with school eventually, I was just hoping sooner rather than later.  I know hindsight is 20/20 but if I would have just known what I wanted and trudged through with school, I’d be further in life and be where I want to be.  Instead, I took the muddy route with quick sand and got stuck.  Things are going too slow for me and I just want to move on.  I know that my perfectionism is coming out when I say that and that’s what got me into this mess.  I’m just exhausted and struggling as I watch the people around me live their life.  I want to do that, and I know I am, it’s just different.  I want to actually feel like I’m living and not just going through the motions like a lifeless being.  Someday I want a family with someone and I feel like that is going to be much later than I expected because my main focus will be on school.  I’m frustrated.  I’m exhausted and embarrassed of where I am.  I know judging the situation isn’t going to help any, but it’s really difficult not to judge it (there’s that perfectionism coming out again).  However, on the brightside, overall today was a good day.  My meal plan was not the greatest, but I still ate some.  I wanted to workout as well but I’m just too exhausted and unable to push through that exhaustion.  So positive note, I’m listening to my body tell me it’s tired and I”m resting right now.

I guess I just need to keep telling myself that things take time in life, and I will get to where I want to be.  I have obstacles (like everyone else) and I need to figure out how to move through them.  I know that during these obstacles in life, I learn the most.  That is where I find the most strength, and I need to utilize it positively and then I’ll make it through.  I’ll get there, it takes time; it’s frustrating, but I will get there.  I have to.

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2 Responses to “Exhausted Today”

  1. Jessica Wilson March 19, 2012 at 12:22 pm #

    Hi Meghan!

    I came across your blog and am so glad you are writing! From tennis I know that you are a strong girl and a huge competitor who has always inspired me. I’m confident your story will do the same for other girls. I believe in you and I’m thinking of you!!

    Jessica Wilson

    • fightingfreefromed March 19, 2012 at 11:34 pm #

      Thank you so much!! That means so much to me! I hope things are going well for you!!! 🙂

      Meghan

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